Susan, please forgive me for stealing your blog. Love, Jenny.

by Jenny on December 4, 2010

Hey guys, this is Susan’s friend, Jenny. I’m just on here to let you know that Susan is having a family emergency and she’s asked me to sign on and tell you that she won’t be able to write any blog posts for a few days. She is fine, just dealing with some stuff and away from her computer. Please send her your thoughts and prayers, she will be back on as soon as she can.

I’m going to take this opportunity to completely hijack her blog, without any sort of permission (or even her knowledge!), and write a little post to you about love. Specifically the love I’ve felt from this community in the past two months.

Many of you know me, most of you don’t, but two months ago I had a bit of a family emergency of my own when my pregnancy ended at six and a half months. I’m not on here to talk about my experience, but to talk about the community that has sprung from this farm. When we lost our little girl, the women who make up the Juniper Moon Virtual Flock over on Ravelry gathered around my husband and me and absolutely showered us with support and love. They made us comforting (and gorgeous) knitted and felted gifts, sent us restaurant gift certificates, books, DVDs, delicious caramels, just about anything you could have thought of to distract us or to remind us in a time when everything was dark and sad, of what’s sweet and comforting in this life. Best of all, we got cards, notes, messages of love and strength and empathy, from so many people, more people than I thought there were- people I’d only ever met online, people my husband had never heard of, even some people I’d never spoken to at all, even online.

These women gave me a place to talk about my experience, to express my grief, anger and confusion, a place to laugh and find my sense of humor when even that very basic part of me seemed so lost and wrong. There was nothing I could say that would shock or upset anyone, they were all so understanding and forgiving. The experienced moms gave me practical advice as I dealt with all the physical changes one goes through after giving birth. Women who I hadn’t met piped in to tell me their similar stories of loss and assure me that I will feel happy again. Those who I have met in person and have become “real life” friends mourned with me and encouraged me to get out and join in life, go to Rhinebeck, go to the Fall Shearing party. Sweet, loving, caring women who have way too much grace to ever think of uttering a swear word encouraged and supported me as I let my inner sailor fly.

I told my therapist early on that one of the worst parts of this is that I have all this momness in me now and nowhere to put it, and she told me that I needed it for myself. She was right, but I’ll tell you something- I realized that I had dozens of moms, dozens of sisters, dozens of best friends. They actually call themselves “the aunties,” which is perfect. I couldn’t have made it through these past two months as well as I did without them. They became part of my family, and I had never given them anything.

One day, three years ago, I found this random woman on the internet who was selling wool off her very own sheep, which I thought was pretty cool. Turns out others around the world thought what she was doing was pretty cool, too. Then one day, two months ago, I found myself falling. These people, who only knew me through this one little commonality, thinking that it was pretty cool that the random woman from the internet was selling wool off her very own sheep, became the safety net I needed, and caught me. Not to be too dramatic about it, but there it is.

The gifts they sent us in this time have been amazing, they gave us something fun to focus on, something warm to wrap around us, something pretty to wear or display, and I love and appreciate every one of them (I’m eating a caramel as I write this, Erin!), but the pure love behind all the packages, cards and messages was what was so truly uplifting to us.

By the way, in case you haven’t realized it, I’m talking about YOU. YOU, who read this blog and are part of this community. Even if you have no clue who I am, you are part of this community because you share an interest in a way of life where people are accountable for their choices, rely on hard work and mindfulness, love and support each other, and practice genuine acts of kindness with absolutely no thought of return.

Susan really has no clue that I’m writing this, I hope she forgives me for stealing her blog, but I’m doing it to pay tribute to her and this family she’s started. This guerilla blog post is an effort to thank the people who read this blog, people who I will never feel I can ever have thanked enough, and to give an outsider’s perspective to those who may be new to this farm, or not be a part of the group on Ravelry (yet), just to show how truly full of love and light this community you have joined really is. I know you are all sending your love to Susan, as you sent it to me.

Thank you. So, so much.

{ 42 comments }

1 pj December 4, 2010 at 10:47 pm

very sweet hijack!
sweet dreams and much love tonight.

2 knittingfool aka lori December 4, 2010 at 10:50 pm

Oh Jenny, how I love you. auntie knittingfool

3 --Deb December 4, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Oh, Jenny. Beautiful.

(And, sending good wishes Susan’s way because, well, of course!)

4 Lauria December 4, 2010 at 11:04 pm

I’ve got tears in my eyes.

I hope that Susie’s family emergency turns out a-okay. =/ Good Mojo Zooming her way!

5 Helen December 4, 2010 at 11:27 pm

Love you Jenny!

6 Suzy December 5, 2010 at 12:02 am

I love this ‘family’ we have here. I have loved this group for almost 2 years now and it just keeps getting better and better. Thank you for putting it into words.

I love you…

Susie, thanks for being you. I love you.

7 Shelley Noble December 5, 2010 at 2:14 am

Well done, Jenny. Love and Good Vibes going out to you and to Susan for her current situation resolving as gracefully as possible.

8 Paula December 5, 2010 at 2:31 am

Sweet, very, very Sweet. You hit a home run Kiddo.

9 karen December 5, 2010 at 4:30 am

Beautiful…tears in my eyes. Thank you for such a lovely gift.

10 Luckydog December 5, 2010 at 5:47 am

I’ve sent out the bat signal and Miss Linda is on her way to Susan and her family.

Jen, you rock.

11 Susan aka reddirt December 5, 2010 at 9:18 am

Right now, I have no words. Nothing seems to be the right way to say what I feel for this group. So I will just send more love and prayers to you, Jenny and to Susie and her loved ones. Amazing how long the auntie’s arms are. Long enough to wrap around loved ones across the miles.

12 Annie December 5, 2010 at 9:52 am

I’ve been out of blogland a bit lately after my own pregnancy loss in early October. I didn’t know about what had happened, Jenny, but I’m so glad to hear that you had such amazing support and love from so many people. It makes such a difference! And from someone who has been through this too many times, I can say that you will feel happy again. All the very, very best to you, and to Susan too.

13 Jane from Maryland December 5, 2010 at 9:53 am

Smiling, teary, arms outstretched for a big group hug. And this means YOU even if you are new to the farm or the blog or the aunties. I know sometimes people feel, “well that’s nice for them but I’m not a part of it.” Yes you are, as Jenny says, just by being here. As Meryl Streep said when asked what she wanted to hear St. Peter say at the pearly gates, “Everybody in!”

14 Joan B December 5, 2010 at 10:13 am

Nicely said Jenny.
Good vibes to Susan and family.

15 Beverly December 5, 2010 at 11:51 am

What an amazing post. Thank you for stealing Susan’s blog! I hope things resolve for Susan and her family quickly.

16 Adelaide December 5, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Oh, Jenny, you’ve made me cry again. Hugs to you and to susie, too.

17 Dr Rona December 5, 2010 at 1:45 pm

jenny you’ve made me cry too.

i remember when susan made the post about someone losing a child but didn’t mention names. i am so glad there were so many people knit together for you during that trying time. wow.

much love to you
and to susan and her family
and to all the people here
always…

and more love…
rona

18 karen kcaknitts December 5, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Jenny
I could not thin of a better reason to steal Susan’s blog.
The post is beautiful.
My thought will be with and Susan

19 mixette December 5, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Dang, you made me cry too! I read loads of blogs and this is one of very few where I comment…because I *want* too…because the people who come here are particularly awesome. And what you (beautifully) wrote just confirms that!

20 Anne December 5, 2010 at 5:45 pm

touching post, a hijack of the nicest variety!

21 bj December 5, 2010 at 6:09 pm

It always amazes me how everyone on line rallies when someone is in need and brings comfort to them… and they are most of the time perfect strangers. Beautiful post! Sending my thoughts and prayers to Susan.

22 Maureen J (mljan) December 5, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Beautiful, beautiful post, Jenny. I am so thankful to have found this community, too, and to hear that it has helped you both.
Susie, thinking of you and wishing you the best.

23 GrandmaTutu December 5, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Love you, Jen!! xoxo

24 Brenda December 5, 2010 at 7:36 pm

What a beautiful hijack. I smiled and cryed. Sending love and prayers for both you and Susan.

25 Kate December 5, 2010 at 8:11 pm

love you!

26 Susan in HK December 5, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Jenny, I guess something magical can happen when women (and some men!) can take their love for tactile experiences and translate it to emotional support. All of us who have read your story have felt you and your husband’s pain, and I’m sure most of us, even if we’ve not “officially” been an auntie, have been aunties by proxy.

Friendship is important – both virtual and huggable.

I’m sure Suzie will not mind at all.

Susan in HK

27 karen sadow December 5, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Jenny,
Your stolen blog statement is warm and touching. I am sure that Susan wishes she was there right now to give you a big, long hug. Here’s a big, warm hug from Arizona.
Karen

28 Jan December 5, 2010 at 11:37 pm

Isn’t it interesting that the more industrialization works to isolate and alienate us from one another, we still use whatever means we can to form meaningful community/family. Back in the pioneer days, people would travel for miles in a buckboard wagon to help a family with a barn-raising. And people (mostly women) would gather round to help a woman in her time of need. Thank you Jenny for your glorious post. It is nice to know that the illusive words we place into this digital ether can yield tangible, heartfelt and heart-received emblems of our deep desire to be in community and hold each other up should one of us fall. My thoughts are with you and with Susan.

29 Kathy December 6, 2010 at 7:11 am

Yet another reason to love Juniper Moon! Thank you for a lovely post Jenny!

30 SheCrochets December 6, 2010 at 7:11 am

Beautiful, Jenny. I haven’t met you in person, but I am so happy to be part of a group that reaches out like we do to make sure that everyone feels safe and loved,. And it’s all Susan’s fault. I am lucky that my fiance stumbled across an ad for the farm in a magazine and bought me my first share. I can’t imagine my life without this group now, even though I don’t know anyone personally. Yet. Be well, Jenny…and you too, Susan. My thoughts are with you as you tend to your family. Best to you both.

31 Sara December 6, 2010 at 8:00 am

Love you sweet Jenny!!!

32 Tanya December 6, 2010 at 9:08 am

What a great post, Jenny! Sending lots of love to you and Susie.{{{big hugs}}}

33 GrandmaTutu December 6, 2010 at 9:19 am

btw . . . huge and love to Susie too! xoxo

34 Teresa (knittingdancer) December 6, 2010 at 9:26 am

Jenny, beautifully said. Good wishes to Susan.

35 Tracy Wells December 6, 2010 at 10:38 am

When I hear people talk about the breakdown of community, about how neighbors don’t know their neighbors anymore, how the world has gone to hell in a hand basket–I just tell them about this community. It’s such a beautiful, serendipitous thing!

Thank you for your eloquence, and best of luck to Susan to get through her family emergency. We’re here, and we’re listening.

36 Pam Wood December 6, 2010 at 10:50 am

My love and prayers go out to Susan and her family.
And Jenny I wasn’t there for you since I’m new to this blog but have been there for others and know that healing is a day to day process.

37 Joke December 6, 2010 at 3:01 pm

This is a lovely post…
My best wishes to both you and Susan!
Big big hugs :)

38 Mary Earle December 6, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Jenny,
I’m new to the group, and so just now aware of all that you have been through. How lovely it is to receive your thoughtful thanks, and to be a part of a group that pays attention, shows up, and reaches out.

39 Beverly December 6, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Jenny,

Your beautiful words really capture what it is about the virtual flock and its power that I treasure. I have tried to explain this to friends and to share the magic. Usually, I am not very successful at it, but when I share your post, I know they will understand. Thank you.

Beverly

40 Judy aka lamazeteacher December 7, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Jenny, I met in you in person at Rhinebeck when we stayed in the house and I still remember your vibrant smile. My heart broke as I was reading your posts when you and Ken lost your daughter. It brought back those painful memories when I went through the same tragedy and I could really empathize. We truly are a loving and marvelous group of woman who were brought together by Susie. My wish of sunshine always following you goes along with this message.

And to Susie….please feel the love and hugs that are coming your way today and always to support you..

41 Maggie December 7, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Lovely.

42 Stephanie Randazzo December 24, 2010 at 10:19 am

Jenny, I came across Susan’s site and blog from reading a magazine. I love to look at the pictures. I read as I can. I lost a baby at 10 weeks of pregnancy after being a mom to one daughter. I had another daughter down the raod and, an autistic son. My marriage, 19 years, was very hard, painful and unhappy. I am now healing and living as a divorced woman and finding joy. Having my son makes life a challenge. My family consists of my kids and those with whom I work (I work at a really great therapeutic high school). I boldy (in my timid mind) emailed Susan one day to ask about pics. Then, I emailed about a farm stay. I have felt a kindness in the small number of exchanges that was very different from my past many years. I read this and understand better the magic, love and community that emanates from all of this. God bless …….

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