I really, honestly planned not to post until I got home on Sunday night, but I have something really sad that I need to tell you and I figure it’s better to get it over with. There’s no good or easy way to tell you this: we lost our sweet, tiny lamb today.
Rushworth had been growing and thriving and becoming such a big little lamb that this caught me, and Maggie, and I suspect all of you, completely by surprise. We have all invested so much in Tiny, so many emotions, so many hopes, so many prayers, and I honestly can’t bear the thought of you all reading this. I am just more sorry than you can know.
Here is what I need to say. Rushworth came into this world without much chance of surviving for even a day. I tried to be brutally honest about his chances, because I was quite sure he would be gone by morning. Please don’t misunderstand me- I did every single thing I know how to do to save his life, but everything I know isn’t always enough to save a dying lamb. The time we have had with Rush- every single moment of his short life- was a gift. Every single moment.
It is a cruel fact of life that the animals that have my heart, the ones that I know and am closest to, tend to be the broken ones. Rushworth survived so many things. Because I know you will be curious, the vet suspects that it was heat exhaustion and dehydration that took his life. It is a another cruel fact of life that terrible things tend to happen when I leave the farm. Lucy was hit by a car while I was in Fort Worth and I was incredibly anxious about leaving the farm for six days to attend the Squam Arts Workshop. Not because I think the farm can’t survive without me, but because I hate for anyone but me to feel the terrible weight of responsibility when things do go wrong. I want to be very clear about one thing: my absence from the farm today had nothing to do with Tiny’s death today. There was nothing that I could have done that Maggie didn’t do to save his life. Not one thing. Maggie would have moved heaven and earth to save that lamb, and she is hurting right now something fierce.
There’s a quote that’s sometimes attributed to Dr. Suess that I try to remember at times like these. “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.” So I’m asking you, please, don’t cry because we lost him; smile because we knew him. How lucky we were to have known him.
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Wish I could take the “well, these things happen, it’s working a farm” point of view…but I can’t. So pardon me while I shed a few tears while I’m thankful that I have one of my own pictures of Tiny Rush to remember him. Warmth and hugs to you both. What’s that poster in the barn? Keep Calm, Carry On.
oh my gosh…how terribly terribly sad…I am so sorry for your loss and your grief…I will miss seeing his little face here. My heart breaks for you all.
So sorry…
Oh.
I am so sorry. Words fail me…
I think I can say for just about everyone that Sweet Little Lamb gave all of us a chance to be better humans as we hoped against hope and celebrated his life, then and now. Thank you for a loving and lovely photo memorial. My heart goes out to all who held him and worked so hard to give him a long life.
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing him with us while he was here.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can;t even imagine how badly Maggie feels.
Thank you for sharing his life with us and I will cherish all the smiles he brought to my life!!
RIP Tiny you will hold a special place in my heart!
Hugs to you all! Thank you for sharing sweet tiny Rushworth with us all, and thanks for helping him have such a lovely, gentle little life while he was around.
The world is a better place because Tiny was in it. He will be missed. Love and condolences to you all.
We are crying with you. Thanks for the photos–they bring to mind the joys (and trials) of this sweet tiny lamb with the big heart. Hugs.
I know how much you guys must be hurting. I am so so sorry for your loss. There aren’t really any words…
I am so very, very sorry. I have loved this little lamb since I first read of him. And I have been afraid for him. Bless you for trying and thank you for sharing him.
I am very sorry for your loss. I love the great photos of your animals, and was especially inspired by your tiny lamb. Please let go of the thought that “terrrible things happen when you leave the farm”. You are a strong, vibrant woman and your leaving the farm does not inspire disaster.
such sad news, but a very fitting quote.
Tiny lived. And he touched more lives than we’ll ever know. Thank you for sharing his sweet life with us.
Rest Mr. Tiny, we love you.
Jill
I am so sorry to hear of your loss! Thank you for posting all the wonderful pictures…what a great tribute! He is beautiful and I know he will be missed.
I am trying not to be overwhemed with sadness but filled with joy that we knew Tiny. He brought so much happiness, so many smiles, so many tugs in the heartstrings. We were so lucky to know him for the little time we were allowed. Please Susie/Maggie remember the good times and fill your memories with those. Thank you for letting us share him. We were blessed.
so sorry to hear the sad news of Tiny Rushworth. He hung in there and you and Maggie were fabulous in your dedication to him. He was fortunate to have been born on your farm – he had love, tenderness, green grass and sunshine that he would not have had on many farms. I have so enjoyed the pics you’ve posted of him. What a little treasure he was – a blessing! Give yourselves a little pat on the back and a hug for being so diligent and caring. You are awesome, don’t forget that!
I am so sorry. You were the best shepherds he could ever have asked for.
I keep coming back to your post and reading it over and over and crying. What is wrong with me?
God, I hate this part of shepherding.
RIP Young Rush. We all loved you. In my breed, we feel and say our lost sheep have “Gone back to Iceland”. Tiny is safe and healthy somewhere, too.
So sorry Tiny left us so soon. But I know you and everyone at JMFF gave him the very best loving care for his short life. Thank you for sharing him with us.
I’m thinking that his ratio of happy moments to awful moments was pretty high– and that helps.
I’m also thinking that it is our powerless (and/or over responsibility!!) that makes us think more bad things happen when we are doing something for our deep inner selves… or when we’re merely paying attention to something “else.”
As Virginia Satir said, “It’s not the problem that’s the problem, it’s how we solve the problem that’s the problem.”
Best to you.
Oh Susie and Maggie, I am so sorry, what a sad and touching loss. I think you guys gave him much more life, love and happiness than he would have had on any other farm.
Sorry Maggie and Susan, thanks for all you did. It’s nice to see that somewhere in this world the littlest life counts.
I am so sorry. He is special to all of us. Thank you for being his guardian.
that sucks. he was such a cute little thing, i’m sorry for your loss. your blog is always so fun and even though i’ve never met any of your “little ones” i feel sad for him and for you. he was blessed to be loved by you and by all of us too!
hugs, i was so pulling for this little guy. i believe these moments help us become stronger and more compassionate. he was blessed to come into your home!
I am so so sorry for your loss. These lovely pictures will help keep a smile on my face.
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